Despite the fact that you consider your words harmless and do not have bad intentions, there will be people who feel offended by what you just said. 
We are so used to pronouncing topical and banal phrases that we don’t stop to think about the meaning they have or the impact they may have on other people. In fact, our vocabulary is made up of sentences and jokes that we have learned since we were little and little ones.
Such as “I help my wife at home” or “women are more emotional and men are more rational”, there is also a covert homophobia in the language we use.
Unconsciousness, or perhaps ignorance, is what leads us to replicate these and perpetuate them in society. we want to help you understand what phrases you normally say that hide a message of hate or rejection towards the LGBT+ community.
Phrases that may not seem homophobic to you but YES they are
You don’t look gay/lesbian
This is one of the phrases that is most heard in the LGBT+ environment. There is no universal pattern that determines how a person should be or act, so we must eliminate this phrase from our vocabulary. Each one is how they want to be, not how the rest think they should be.
When did you realize that you are an LGBT+ person?
There is no need to ask anyone when you realize who you are or what you really feel. In fact, nobody asks straight people when they found out, since it’s assumed that they don’t have to find out anything. Don’t ask questions that could turn against you.
All handsome men are gay or married
This sentence so typical of American movies should be removed from your head as soon as possible. With this, you only manage to maintain the typical image people have of gays and create a normative aesthetic that does not conform to reality at all.
Are you LGBT+? I have a friend who is too
The truth is that the purpose of this sentence is not known, that is, what relevant information does it provide whether or not you have an friend when you talk to someone who is? Surely you yourself have just answered why you should not use this common joke.
I’m not homophobic because I have an LGBT+ friend
This is one of the most famous that LGBT+ people have to deal with almost daily. Having an LGBT+ friend does not make you, in fact, by pronouncing these words you get labeled as what you claim not to be.
I have nothing against LGBT+ people, but I don’t understand it
You should have it? Have they done something to you? What do you have to understand? Do not make the mistake of saying this sentence because it only shows that you have a very high level of homophobia. You don’t have to understand this or have anything against people who just want or be whatever they want.
I’m going to introduce you to my lesbian friend/gay friend
This phrase, while homophobic, is laughable. What does not enter the head of heterosexuals is that the fact of being gay/lesbian does not imply that you have to know anyone or that you are going to get along with someone because they have the same orientation. This type of behavior is defined as “heterosexual matchmaking ” that seeks, at all costs, to match you. It has not yet been heard “I have a heterosexual friend; I am going to introduce him to you”.
Are you gay/lesbian? Surely you know…
The fact of being part of the collective does not give the power to know all its members. It is just as absurd as if you ask a person from Madrid if he knows another from the same town just by living in the same place.
Who is the woman in the relationship (gay couple)/ who is the man in the relationship (lesbian couple)
Surely you have ever heard this little joke or, even, you have pronounced it. Go get this doubt out of your head because it is not necessary to ask these types of questions. With this you only demonstrate the need you have to classify the couple and understand the role that each one has. It must be clear to you that in a gay couple there are two men and in a lesbian couple there are two women.
What is your role in bed?
This is a mystery that has not yet been solved. We are not talking about the role that each of the members occupies in intimacy, but rather the reason for this curiosity about affective relationships between couples of the same gender. If this question doesn’t let you sleep, don’t sleep, but stop bothering with your nonsense questions.
It shows that you are gay/lesbian
What have you noticed? Do not use this phrase to make yourself or the interesting one, since you will only get to be in evidence. In addition, you may come across a person who is not one and the impression they get from you is the opposite of what you are after. Don’t judge before you know and don’t assume anything because of the other’s appearances or way of behaving.
To be LGBT+ you are quite normal
Avoid this phrase at all costs if you don’t want to come across as a complete homophobe. Normality is very subjective and what may be normal for you may not be normal for the other. Plus, you’re showing the person you’re telling it to that you thought they weren’t normal.
I like you great and that you are LGBT+
For many people, gender orientation, identity and expression are a factor that determines whether or not they can. If you have ever uttered this phrase, you should let that person go, not for you but for her.
I don’t care who I spend the night with
If you have ever used this phrase to show that you are a supporter of the collective, let me tell you that you are wrong. There are many more arguments to show your point of view than this, also, if you use it, it’s because you don’t care so much.
No need to celebrate pride anymore
It will only stop celebrating when there is effective and real equality in the world for all LGBT+ people.
Why is there no hetero pride?
The reason is simpler than some believe. The moment a heterosexual person is insulted, mistreated, or discriminated against because of their orientation, identity, or, the day will have come to launch a heterosexual pride.
Pride is a party
Many people use this phrase to diminish the value and importance of pride. Where is it written that pride must be a serious act? Obviously, it is a celebration for the social advances that are achieved and each one expresses it as they want.
If I have an LGBT+ child, I will love him the same
If the orientation, identity or gender expression of your future child is a factor that can determine that you “love him the same”, let me tell you that you are not yet ready to be a father / mother.
You’re Trans, but you look like a real guy
This is one of the phrases that Tran’s people must face. Do not fall into these topics because there is no exact manual of what a real boy or girl is like. Also, you are letting yourself be carried away by his physical appearance without stopping to think what this might mean for the person to whom you dedicate it.
Twenty Are you operated/or at all?
Again annoying curiosity makes its appearance. This question, apart from being Tran’s phobic. You should never ask a Tran’s person whether or not they have transitioned, as this is a matter for that person alone.
It is normal for a Trans person to have to pass a psychiatric control
This phrase supposes an immense Trans phobia on the part of those who pronounce it. With it, you are expressing that Tran’s people have a mental disorder and that there must be a professional to cure them or give them the go-ahead to make the transition. A cisgender person does not have to go through this to affirm their gender, why should a Trans person?
What was your name before?
Tran’s people are more than tired of hearing these kinds of questions. Don’t ask him about his old name because it represents everything he wants to leave behind. For you it may mean a simple question but for them it may mean reliving all the pain and suffering they have felt while being locked up in a body that was not theirs.
Bisexuals are those who like everything
Bisexuals like what they want. Some like the sea, others the mountains, but not everyone has to like the same thing. With this, you only manage to maintain the image people have of these people who create such a bad reputation for them.
Are you gay/lesbian? Have you tried being with a girl/o?
There is a legend that if a gay or a lesbian tries with a person of the opposite gender, they stop being gay. This phrase is that exists, since they question the orientation of a person and believe that it is a choice. In these cases, the best answer that can be given is “have you tried being with a boy to find out if you are gay/lesbian/bisexual?”
Are you sure you are gay/lesbian/bisexual?
Being LGBT+ is not an option or a choice, you are LGBT+ from the moment you are born and you have enough awareness to determine how you are, how you feel, or what you feel.
Crying is for girls
This phrase is the ideal to end this list, since it implies a very strong covert homophobia. Crying is a free action that does not depend on a person’s gender so that they can carry it out.
With it you are implying that is for the weak and therefore it is women who cry because they are “weak”, and therefore, you are replicating a macho attitude. In addition, you perpetuate the binary system that divides society into two genders and accentuate the characteristics that are associated with each of them, leaving out other realities that do not feel that way.
