The Christmas holidays are approaching, the time to meet with our loved ones (family, friends, partner…), to eat, laugh and have a good time altogether. However is anticipated in our minds: that of that person who is no longer there.
And it is that Christmas is a complicated time in this sense, since, although it is theoretically a time of celebration and joy, it can also generate these feelings of melancholy that we mentioned. In this article we reflect on all this and, in addition, we explain how to congratulate Christmas to someone who has lost a loved one.
And it is that in this situation you may be considering how, in the face of a recent loss; for this, we give you some practical advice that can go well for you when doing it, always from empathy and sensitivity.
Christmas without a loved one: the feelings that are generated
Christmas intensifies the feeling of absence left by loved ones who are no longer in our lives. That is why, although it is a time of celebration enjoyed by many, it also generates feelings of longing, sadness and melancholy in those who have lost a loved one (especially if the).
Thus, in this time that fills the streets with lights and decorations, long awaited by children, and that makes it easier for families to return home, get together and have family lunches and dinners, the reflection of those absences also appears.
For all that has been said, Christmas can generate that contradiction between what we want to do (which is often crying for the loss at home in peace, continuing to grieve…) and what they expect of us (which is getting together with our loved ones)..
And of course, there is a part of us that wants it, but another that prevents it. In these cases it is important that you identify exactly what you need and how you can obtain it while causing the least possible damage to others.
Tips to dedicate a few words at Christmas to someone who is going through a duel
- On the other hand, it may be that very close people, such as important friends, have lost a loved one just before Christmas. If you find yourself in this situation, it is normal that you do not know very well how to handle Christmas and that doubts arise: should I wish you Christmas greetings or not? Shall I send you a message? To postcard?
- First of all, keep in mind that what your friend, your family member, etc., needs in these cases, understands and support. We can give this to him in different ways, although the most important thing is to let him know that you are there for what he needs. That you accompany him even if you are not physically close and that he can count on you.
But then… Shall I congratulate you on Christmas? How can I do it? We give you 5 key ideas that can shed a little light:
1go naturally
When a loved one passes away, it is still sometimes considered a taboo subject, as if death is not something natural, that it is also part of life. However, especially in more traumatic deaths, sometimes it is difficult for us to talk about them and we do not know how to do it.
In these cases, choose to approach the subject in a natural and open way. Call that person, ask how he is, do what you feel at that moment. Surely, in these difficult times, your will thank you from the bottom of his heart.
2Send a Christmas message of accompaniment and understanding
But what message to give? Although it may seem so, congratulating Christmas is not incompatible with the fact of giving, although logically we must empathize and be sensitive when developing the message.
When you contact that person (preferably, through a call, as we explain in the next point), we can opt for a ” I’m very sorry for your loss, if you need anything I’m here; I hope that on these important dates, even if it’s get together with this bad moment that you are going through, you can also have a good time with your family”, or similar. The message that must arrive is one of encouragement, understanding and affection.
3make that call
You have decided to congratulate that person on Christmas, but… which way should you use? Phone? Postcard? There is nothing written about whether one way or another is better, although it may be preferable to opt for a call. Because? On the one hand, because the postcards can be “colder” (the contact is not so direct), as well as the communication via What Sapp.
On the other hand, with a call you can take the opportunity to ask the other more things, obtaining an answer on the spot. Although it may be difficult for us to make that call because we don’t know how the other person is doing, it is very likely that they will appreciate it. In addition, it is a channel that will allow that person to express themselves more freely; it is a closer, warmer channel.
On the other hand, if that person isn’t ready to talk, don’t be afraid; Maybe if that’s the case, he doesn’t pick up the call, and if he does and you feel really bad about talking, you can opt for a “do you feel like we can talk at another time? “, or “would you rather I call you at another time?
4Take advantage of the conversation to ask him how he is and offer his condolences
As we have seen, the objective of the call is not only to congratulate Christmas, but also to ask the person how they are, offer condolences, ask what they need, offer support and any kind of help they need, etc.
Also, as we will see in the next point, it is a good time to see that person and give them a big hug.
5Try to find a moment to see you
Above all, if that person who has recently lost a loved one is very significant to you, these holidays can be a good occasion to find a moment to see each other, after that call.
This is also a way to congratulate Christmas despite that loss; and in that meeting, you can transmit this message, that you are with him in his feelings of him and that you hope that he can take advantage of, at least, these days tube and to “make friends” in these difficult moments.
Validate your emotions also at Christmas
- Christmas is a magical time that offers us the opportunity to reunite with our loved ones. But it is also a time when losses are accentuated and in which we miss people who are no longer there. It is totally understandable that this happens to you; that is why it is important that you can listen and that you do not force yourself into anything.
- Perhaps it is a good time to remember that person as a family (or mourn their loss alone), to talk about them, to also remember the good times, to get nostalgic and to be able to continue, if we are still in this process.
- Remember that losses deserve to be processed and integrated. And if you have a loved one who is experiencing this situation and you don’t know how to congratulate them on Christmas, or you don’t know whether to do it or not, etc… Try to send them your support and encouragement; do not hold back or be afraid: surely he appreciates your words.
