Christmas is one of the most exciting times of the year. Family reunions, meetings with friends, gifts, lights and good wishes are mixed to offer us a state of true happiness. Therefore, it is one of the best times to bring out the humorous side that we carry inside and enjoy these dates with the best smile. If you want to congratulate your loved ones with the funniest Christmas and New Year phrases that will make them smile, take note of this selection that we have prepared. Funny, funny, sarcastic and spirited Christmas messages that you can send by What Sapp, put on your social networks or use as a Christmas joke at work. Here they go!
Christmas phrases with which to laugh
We begin with the funniest Christmas phrases, those that you can send to your family and loved ones with more humor, or even to cheer someone up on a bad day. They are phrases with which laughter is assured.
1The police are looking for someone who is beautiful, sexy, charismatic and incredibly good in bed. You, of course, are safe. But me, where am I hiding???? Happy New Year!
A congratulation to remind your loved ones of your most narcissistic side and, incidentally, make them smile.
2This is how you progress in life. First you believe in Santa, and then you don’t believe in Santa, and in the end, you look like Santa to his children!
Do you have children and this Christmas you will end up dressing up as Santa or the Wizard King? Nothing to complain! It is part of human development.
3When I was born, God gave me a choice between being super-hot and having a good memory, so happy Easter!
Congratulation with a good touch of humor, send it by message to that person you know has a great sense of humor.
4Happy Easter from the Alzheimer’s Association and our best wishes for 1984
Absurd humor always fits into any funny Christmas card. Happy Independence Day!
5I didn’t know what to wear for Christmas, so I got fat
Ho, said Santa Claus, or is it not Santa and is it you? A Christmas without humor makes no sense, right?
6After December, my measurements are: ninety, sixty and busting
For those who do not have complexes, this phrase will make more than one friend laugh for a long time.
7End of the Christmas peace drill. Now you can save the prawns and insult your in-laws and brothers-in-law again
Do you know someone who doesn’t get along with their in-laws? This is the perfect greeting for that person this holiday season.
8Christmas is in the air. I would like to formally announce that I am accepting cash and check donations
Because the crisis is the crisis and it doesn’t hurt to take advantage of the holidays to ask for money on the sly with a humorous congratulation.
9Typical Christmas: eat reheated for the next few days until New Year’s dinner
Although sometimes we do not want to admit it, that is the harsh reality!
10What are the people who are afraid of Santa Claus called? Claustrophobic
A joke to use at any time of the day during the Christmas dates.
Eleven Why is Christmas like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
For your (most faithful) co-workers. Be careful, you are not going to send it to your boss by mistake.
12Very worrying data from the Directorate General for Traffic: they state that 23% of traffic accidents are caused by alcohol consumption. That means that the other 77% of accidents are caused by those who drink water, juices and soft drinks. Beware of teetotalers. Happy Holidays!!
Without comments, you already know what you have to do at Christmas (or what not). By the way, we don’t want to promote any accidents, so you know, be responsible.
Christmas sarcasm messages to congratulate the holidays
Have you wanted more? Don’t miss out on these sarcastic humor phrases to laugh like never before with Christmas greetings. If you have a humorous spirit, you can surely use more than one in your “monologues” with your friends and family.
13May you find happiness, health, love and money this year. What you can’t find, look it up on Google
A technological greeting that instantly brings a smile.
14At Christmas you have to save… I congratulate you and you are in charge of spreading it among the rest of my contacts. Merry Christmas!
Feeling lazy this Christmas ? You know, pass this message on to a friend and let her take care of it. You may get a smile out of him but we don’t think he pays much attention to you.
Fifteen Happy Holidays! I owe you the gift because the crisis does not even respect these festivities
Don’t have money for gifts this year? This is the perfect congratulations. And there is nothing that cannot be solved with a little humor.
16Where have you been? We can’t find you anywhere. We need you to come back, you are very important to us and you also know very well that you cannot set up the Bethlehem WITHOUT THE DONKEY. Merry Christmas!
Remember to send this message to a person with a good sense of humor, because those who are too sensitive are not suitable for this type of Christmas humor.
17Do you know why he is called Santa Claus? Because the gifts are paid for by dad, not him. Happy Holidays!
A truth like a temple, but don’t tell the little ones.
18At New Year’s dinner, does the mobile phone go to the right or to the left of the plate?
Because there are always those who “suffer” boring dinners at Christmas or New Year and spend their time checking their cell phones…
19Christmas is coming. Avoid all fattening things like mirrors, scales, or sincere friends
A nod to copious meals on Christmas dates. They may be fattening but how we enjoy them!
Twenty minute of silence for these beautiful bodies that will be spoiled this Christmas
We are doing the minute of silence, now we return.
Twenty-one Christmas means always having a smile to share, even if you have to give it to your in-laws and all those relatives you don’t like so much
As long as you don’t send this greeting to your in-laws, brothers-in-law (and partner) everything will be fine.
22This year it is difficult to wish ‘Happy Christmas’… We will be ‘happy’ again when there is no ‘crisis-more’
The crisis also sneaks into Christmas cards, but with humor everything seems more enjoyable, right?
Funny Christmas and New Year dedications for friends
Of course, we had a space reserved for friends, who are always there for you to have fun and laugh out loud. These Christmas phrases are specially designed for groups of friends, surely if you start to send some they will take a few more from their arsenal.
23You change your car, your house, your clothes, your partner, your shoes, the month, your look, your job, the year; but never friends. Merry Christmas!
With humor but with a touch of special tenderness to touch the heart of your dearest friends.
24Here’s to a friendship longer than Christmas lights!
A beautiful Christmas and New Year greeting with a little grace included to share with your most precious friends.
25Friends are like civil guard radars, even if you don’t see them they are always there. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
How to tell your friends that you appreciate their friendship without sentimentality? Send them this Christmas and New Year greeting.
26From Bethlehem we want to remember, like every year, that those who drink and drink and drink again are the fish in the river. Thanks and Merry Christmas
Because there is nothing like celebrating Christmas with friends to have a great time.
27If you drink, don’t drive, but if you don’t drive, take advantage of the fact that it’s Christmas
All friends will laugh for a while with this phrase, except the one who has to drive at Christmas or New Years.
28This year I forgot about the gifts, but at least I remembered to congratulate you so there’s no use complaining!
A bit of sarcastic humor for that friend who you have no choice but to remind him that you have no money.
29I hope to be the first to congratulate you on the New Year. HAPPY 2050!
Of course, with this message you will be the first or the first, a few decades before.
30Los Reyes Magus customer service department. You have requested a gift beyond your means. Please try again next year when the crisis is over
Send it to your friends, those who want a special gift that they will not have, at least from you.
31With the crisis, I can only congratulate one of my friends on 2023. And I chose you. I thought that ugly and unfriendly no one else would remember. Happy New Year!
For friends with a better sense of humor, with this congratulation they will laugh out loud.
32Congratulations, you have been selected to pull Santa’s sleigh this Christmas Eve. In a short time an elf will stop by his house to measure his horns. Merry Christmas
Another greeting with a touch of humor for the funniest friends. Of course, do not send it to anyone with bad love.
Christmas and New Year phrases of love, with humor
Because humor in relationships cannot be missing, here we leave you a selection of the funniest and funniest Christmas love phrases and greetings (and of course, there are some with a spicy point ). Do not miss it!
33On these dates I wanted to send you something funny… incredible… tender… sexy… sweet and very entertaining. But I’m sorry; I don’t enter through the screen. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
The best Christmas gift for your partner ? Of course it’s you, who else?
3. 4This season I wanted to give you the most special and beautiful gift in the world. But I’ve realized there’s not enough paper to wrap me up
A Christmas greeting, perhaps somewhat narcissistic, but perfect for that special person in your life to whom you want to tell that you want to stay by their side.
35If on Christmas Eve a fat man comes to your house and puts you in a sack, don’t be scared. It’s that I asked you as a Christmas present
Although with a somewhat sinister humor, this greeting has that romantic air that your partner will surely like if he is a lover of jokes and funny phrases.
36Santa Claus: Don’t ask for boyfriends because I don’t have stock
And not everything had to be for couples, singles also deserve a Christmas greeting with a touch of humor.
37Can I take a picture of you? It’s to show Santa what I want him to bring me
The perfect congratulation not only for couples, but for someone to whom you want to tell your loving intentions. You dare?
38I have already asked Santa for my gift: a kiss from you
Because a gift like that is worth a thousand gifts, right? Send this beautiful Christmas and New Year greeting to your partner and they will melt with love.
39Fuck the Lottery, this Christmas you touch me
With a double meaning, this congratulation is not only funny, but also has an incomparable erotic side. Only suitable for fiery couples.
